My girlfriend figured out who you are.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
