I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize