so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.