Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers" http://tfl.nu/rpqk
  Replies (11) Good night (610) Bad night (2262)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex' http://tfl.nu/kqne
  Replies (63) Good night (6910) Bad night (1180) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics. http://tfl.nu/ug0s
  Replies (6) Good night (1045) Bad night (3363)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser. http://tfl.nu/232e
  Replies (24) Good night (1655) Bad night (7925) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  he fucked me so hard my future children felt it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): he fucked me so hard my future children felt it http://tfl.nu/ioph
  Replies (43) Good night (11248) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me. http://tfl.nu/1tg4
  Replies (16) Good night (1329) Bad night (4826) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself. http://tfl.nu/hfdh
  Replies (12) Good night (828) Bad night (7012)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero. http://tfl.nu/4xtx
  Replies (33) Good night (1597) Bad night (4886) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him http://tfl.nu/gz84
  Replies (15) Good night (4701) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend? http://tfl.nu/hvyw
  Replies (11) Good night (5098) Bad night (1108) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help. http://tfl.nu/o577
  Replies (6) Good night (724) Bad night (1619) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that. http://tfl.nu/eu5z
  Replies (5) Good night (1722) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course http://tfl.nu/673n
  Replies (2) Good night (1026) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge" http://tfl.nu/puda
  Replies (5) Good night (590) Bad night (1108) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment. http://tfl.nu/oa4j
  Replies (1) Good night (1070) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt

Randomize