Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
