my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
