I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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