I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
