Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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