I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
