I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
