How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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