I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
