just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Randomize
