maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
