I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
last night I used snow as a chaser
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
