Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.

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(503): View more from Oregon

At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.

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(630): View more from Illinois

i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"

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(503): View more from Oregon

He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place

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(228): View more from Mississippi

He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"

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(217): View more from Illinois

the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy

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(903): View more from Texas

Really need a jack off emoji

(903): View more from Texas

Who do we write to about that?

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