The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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