my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
