Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
two words...techno handjob
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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