I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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