i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
pop tarts are not kleenex
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
