I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The power of my boobs compel you
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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