p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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