check it out our google latitudes are spooning
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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