when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
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its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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