Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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