Kiss
Puke
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
