Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize