big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
