Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think my fart just growled at me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We just shotgunned beers for America
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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