hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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