I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
