so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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