Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
