Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
