Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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