he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
