apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
