the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize