let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize