the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
