Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
