Porn is love you can see.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
only you would photoshop your dick
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
