But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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