we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
