I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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