How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
