I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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