in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
