Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
