Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You took a bar mat shot.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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