We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
