No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
