somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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