I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
