Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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