I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
