You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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