so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
