so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize