You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
