i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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