So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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