i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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