I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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