38 yer olds are good kisserssss
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
