thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
