That's intense
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
