Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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