Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
last night I used snow as a chaser
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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